desi people
i am a desi diaspora chick interested in people and their browness in various forms (especially those that might deviate in different ways from the slick bollywood images that i/we regularly consume)
browness is a fluid term used by many in many different ways. i generally use it as we did growing up; desi peeps
Yes yes, we do exist. No, it’s not because of GLEE, or Gaga or that one movie with John Abraham and Abhishek Bachan. We’ve actually been around for a really fucking long time. And we’re not that itty bitty fragment of wtf-ery in the diaspora either. We’re your brother, your sister, mother, father,…
So this seems to be a short film about Filipina women talking about stereotypes (esp. the racist mythology that filipina women are passive, timid people with no agency)
You know what, I’m down for this. I’m down for women poking holes in stereotypes about docile femininity. Amen. But also, it doesn’t negate the need to call out the forces that keep us down; racist immigration and labour policies, corporations, privileged-denying well meaning racists, etc, etc…. And it shouldn’t be hinged on shaming or alienating women who ARE indeed domestic workers (not that this video does that, but there is that risk)…I am not going to collude with racists who see me as a dirty curry eating daughter of a convinience store clerk by disrespecting the hustle of aunty’s and uncles who work at 7-11 or Petro Canada. And I fucking love eating curry. The people that the stereotypes are about shouldn’t have to bear the burden of proving racists wrong.
part of our marginalization is tied to this need to prove our humanity. its dangerous work, its complicated work, and it takes a toll.
(Source: 157waystolive)
THis is awesome. Many thanks to wildpudding who submitted it to brownpeople as a link.
Yeah- this is me. It took a shit ton load of guts to even take a photo of myself and post it up here- though I felt a little comfort when I saw all the pretty people who did share themselves to us, to me. So cheers folks.
My name is Soo and there has never been one consistent period in my short life where I have loved my body. Or even liked it. Maybe on the occasion I look at it and think “it could be worse” or “oh- ok” but never happy.
Being the only Indian (as in country) at school made me an easy target for a lot of judgment. Being brown, curly black haired, dark eyed and chubbier than the rest- yeah I think we’ve all been that odd one out. In school plays I was always, ALWAYS listed to play the “evil witch”. Never the pretty princess. Not even a friend of the pretty princess. And the pretty princess was always ALWAYS the cute blond/ brown haired girl. Within the Indian community, albeit any “desi” community, it’s a similar story. Your skin is TOO brown, your hair isn’t straight enough/ too curly, your eyes aren’t light enough and bla bla bla. From both communities it was like as if I HAD TO HATE MY BODY.
From the 6 year old who hated her brown skin, that hatred changed to one for my whole body. I never ended up having those loooong pretty legs that bollywood/ hollywood movies and magazines go gaga over, or that little waist, the slender arms and all. I didn’t grow into some elegant beauty they always sing about. I fit into DD bras, my ass is huge, my thighs are chubby, average length legs, my back has fat on it- I mean I won’t say I am fat as what a doctor would prescribe (slightly over weight as the BMI bullshit thing says), but when ever I see myself, I see things hanging off me, I see nothing attractive in my “curves”. I don’t have that “doe eyed beauty” ( big eyes, delicate nose, delicate lips and small face)- heck I just feel that where ever I go, I take up too much space. I seriously feel like as if I am this blob who consumes sooo much space. Funny thing is that I do find fat, skinny, medium, tall, short, medium, wide, thin, curvy, flat etc. people to be beautiful and hot and I want everything to do with them. I just cannot apply this to myself. But I’m getting there.
Sad thing is, it doesn’t stop there. Shit no it doesn’t. I was picking up bulimic tendencies for a while- eating and skipping meals, puking up, over exerting myself- no fun. Fun fact, what ever you lose, you end up gaining AND even more. And you get sick. And you may end up dehydrating yourself so much that you require surgery. And it brings on a whole new cocktail of mental trauma and what not. As for the skin? I say this for people within the Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi, Sri-Lankan, DESI OR ANY ETHNIC COMMUNITY that Fair and Lovely (and other popular skin bleaching creams) do not work. You stay the fuck a way from that shit. It won’t make you fairer but you sure as hell will feel your skin burn for a while AND IT IS NOT WORTH IT (and because I was 14 and stupid and too scared to put up with my arms feeling tingly from this weird ass cream I WASHED IT ALL OFF AND NEVER TOUCHED IT AGAIN).
In my darker moments, all I wanted to do was kill myself. Luckily I did not have the will power for that so here I am. At 20 years of age-I won’t say I’m at that stage where I love the way I look, it’s gonna be a one long battle, but I am in a better place. And I am fighting to be in an even better place. It’s taken the right people, the boycotting of shitty “women’s” magazines and a lot of love to get me to this point. Key word: LOVE
I am not here to promise you that doing all this will help you find that perfect person be it dude, lady and any other fantastic flavour of person. I’m not promising that the bullies will stop instantly or that bullshit gossip magazines will run outta print. I can’t promise those things.
But what I can promise it this: The moment you allow yourself to LOVE yourself (not today, not tomorrow, but over time) life becomes a lot more easier to live. You can find the people worth loving and who you know will love you right back. You can allow yourself to have those amazing influences in your life. You should allow yourself. You deserve this. Don’t ever let anyone make you think other wise. People who equate the size of you (be you skinny or big) to being attractive aren’t worth your time. They don’t deserve you. People who compare the colour of your skin to how pretty you are don’t deserve you either. People who judge you on any of these things and more ( like sexuality, gender, age, religion and so on) aren’t deserving of you.
I am a human being.
I am not your Halloween costume.
I am not your party theme.
I am not your mascot.
I am not your costume.
The post below, I so get that. I don’t know that person or the bff and what the dynamics are. But when I filter tht through my childhood expereince, it totally hits me in the gut. Lots of utterances from people we love that makes my heart stop or my left eyebrow rise up. there’s the sound of a needle scratching a record. then i go: oh shit, i’ve got to negotiate this. not alienate someone who i think is awesome while being assertive. not to lecture or to discipline or be superior. but just to assert, exist, speak up. and to only doing as much work as I feel like doing.
as a side note, i think this quote also helps:
I suggest the reason White people have so much trouble decentralizing themselves from the conversation is because they have never had the experience of representing their entire ethnic group. Pocs have had a lifetime of thinking outside themselves. If I don’t tip, Indians are cheap. And so on.
from a post called White Anti-Racist Organizing: A Response by Poe Liberado (via shakepaper) (via wearenotalike) that I will post in full later.
Not to individualize systemic opressions and turn it into a call for greater personal self-esteem, but to speak to how all of this resonates personally in our lives and to learn from someone who has been through shit.
and genrally, to spread love for the notorious c.h.o.
IF YOU’VE EVER FELT BAD ABOUT YOURSELF, LISTEN TO THIS, PLEASE!
“And I have a lot of self-esteem, which is amazing, because I’m probably somebody who wouldn’t necessarily have a lot of self esteem, as I am considered a minority. And if you are a woman; if you are a person of color; if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender; if you are a person of size; if you are person of intelligence; if you are a person of integrity, then YOU are considered a minority in this world. And it’s going to be really hard to find messages of self-love and support anywhere, especially women’s and gay men’s culture. It’s all about how you have to look a certain way, or else you’re worthless. You know, when you look in the mirror and think, “Ugh, I’m so ugly, I’m so fat, I’m so old.” Don’t you know that’s not your authentic self? That is billions upon billions of dollars of advertising: magazines, movies, billboards, all geared to make you feel shitty about yourself, so that you will take your hard-earned money, and spend it at the mall on some turn-around creme that doesn’t turn around shit. If you don’t have self-esteem, you will hesitate before you do anything in your life. You will hesitate to go for the job you want to go for. You will hesitate to ask for a raise. You will hesitate to call yourself an American. You will hesitate to report a rape. You will hesitate to defend yourself when you are discriminated against because of your race, your sexuality, your size, your gender. You will hesitate to vote. You will hesitate to dream. For us to have self-esteem is truly an act of revolution, and our revolution is long overdue. I urge you all today, especially today in these times of terrorism and chaos, to love yourselves without reservation and to love each other without restraint. Unless you’re into leather, then by all means, use restraints. Thank you.”
-Margaret Cho
Desi Webs: South Asian America, Online Cultures, and the Politics of Race [Conference Notes]
by Latoya Peterson
These are the notes for “ Desi Webs: South Asian America, Online Cultures, and the Politics of Race.” The notes are from a paper by Madhavi Mallapragada, presented at the Texas A & M University Race and Ethnic Studies Institute’s Symposium exploring Race, Ethnicity and (New) Media.
Resist identifying South Asians as a knowable […]
